37

I get this compulsion to write, but then too many reasons to not. {aside from the incessant interruptions, inadequate time management as the wife, mom, teacher, friend, chore-master, cook, etc} It’s really this nagging question of, “how is this going to bite me in the ass?” When one puts her thoughts for all to see, this must be of concern. Like, how much is too much information? Because I tend to be the girl who will jump over that ever-illusive line. How many of my problems are acceptable for vulnerability and when does it become vulnerannoying? Are people more interested in crafting or the lack there of? Homeschooling or the lack there of? In depth pondering or the lack there of? Too many questions? Too many preachy answers?

So happy birthday to me, I give myself permission to not care. No, really. I actually unplugged from facebook, most media {Downton not included since my husband magically got all of Season 3 for me to watch online which we then proceeded to enjoy in only 2 nights time. Word.} and spent more time in person, relating, rather than emailing, and quieting instead of scrambling.

mj betney road trip

I gave myself permission to not keep up. And it is wonderful friends. So much so, that I’m thinking I will adopt this new position for good. Though I warn you, it’s very difficult.

I find it challenging to hold my tongue before I qualify {and explain my decision-making, or lack there of.} Because I feel the need for approval from practically everyone I meet. But I’m learning to just be. I mean come on, I’m 37 now.

Shouldn’t a girl feel at ease enough to just be?

Well, I’m working on it.

IMG_5268

Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he’ll do whatever needs to be done:
He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon. Psalm 37:5-6 MSG

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8 thoughts on “37

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